Today of last year

It was a year since I had a viva exam last year (27th Sept. 2006).

Then the time afterwards was a suffering one. I had to go through many corrections, which took me about 4 months to finish, from October 2006-January 2007.

When it was finished, it was such a relief. However, life at that time was not peaceful. I still had to wait for comments from the examiners (both internal and external ones).

The internal one was OK, but I had to wait for about 4 months from the external one cos he was very busy. It was also an Easter holiday in the UK for almost a month, though. I was in stress and hoped that everything would go well.

It was such a stress cos some people in my office failed to finish the PhD and most of everyone thought it was embarrasing. Some of them got only the M.Phil. Degree.

Their failure was mostly caused by their love lives. Some had problems with their couples. One girl chose to get pregnant during her study without getting marrried. The life after that quite failed and was full of gossips.

Finally, I could pass the stressful situation, a clear-cut one without doubt.

That was the life of a PhD student.

...............Broken-hearted but survivable..............................

PhD...PhD...PhD

Winter Garden, Sheffield, UK

Doing PhD, to many people I know, they said it was like a headache. PhD stands for Permanently headed damage.
My viva exam is getting near. What are merits of doing PhD?
One thing for sure I've trained myself on many skills, academic, social, and managerial.
I have been coping with change management, anger management, hatred management, broken-heart management, emotional management, and appreciation management.

All and everyone says they are struggling.
But why are they so proud and happy after they've passed the viva?

I'm still waiting and waiting.
It's near and near.

What is love?

Love is so difficult, complicated and confusing.

I just want to be someone, not only a stupid one who you make fun of.

I just want to be the one, not someone you know and look away.

Indeed, love is beautiful, warming up my heart.

But most of the time my heart is broken at last.

"The road not taken", such a beautiful phrase.

Now, I fear of taking every road lying ahead.

Shall I step in and lock myself in?

Thanks Heavenly Father

Last night I was sort of hopeless about my situation on the next day. I could really feel the stress that was pressing on me. I did not know what to do, just keep thinking the same old thing again and again. Something I had seen was like the last straw on a camel's back. I felt very down and sick. I tried to solve the problems in a couple of ways. I tried this and that and stopped each attempt abruptlyin the middle. Then the voice in my head just told me to do one thing. Let have a go and pray.

And it worked. My prayer was answered once again. Thanks Heavenly Father. I know you will never let me down, deeper than this. I should walk in a more careful way and be mindful. Don't ever give up. The voice in my head told me. Keep your faith and then you will see the clear blue sky. When everything seems right, it will be right, right to the end. Don't let it be wrong with your imagination and self-deception.

stranger on a bus and old dream

I met a young guy on a bus. He carried many bags and a box of guitar. Struggling with his stuff collapsing towards me, he said sorry,then started talking to me. He said he liked playing a guitar and he was going back to the place where he lived, at Basingstoke, to perform in his friends' party. He has two guitars, an acoustic and an electric one.

He reminded me of my old dream when I was very young. I used to learn how to play a classical guitar. But the tunes did not last long. I gave up when it grew more and more difficult. Now, even reading a note, I can't. I can remember the basic cords, C..Am...F...Dm....G7. That's all.
That was my old dream. Good luck young lad. Hope you are happy on your dream path.
You are a stranger who could recall my memory in those very old days.

racism: are we the world?

Today I will have a meeting with the police about racial abuse problem. A few weeks ago, while I was walking to the university, a teenager boy was cycling straight to me and when he came closer, he knocked my head with his hand. I was very furious at that time. But it was so sudden that I could not think how to react. I went to talk with the International student advisor in the Uni. She recommended that I should contact the police.

I told her that many Asian and African students still encounter the same problem and we are not happy about it. Then, I went back, sending an email to inform every student who I know they have had the same experience. We finally agree to report this to the police. The Advisor has made an appointment with the policeman and will organise a meeting for us. Keep fingers crossed it will be sorted out.

This is an unhappy time during my study. Teenagers always hang around at shops near my house and do everything which is a nuisance, such as, riding a moter bike at high speed in a village street, throwing pebbles and dry wood at us, yelling cursing words, drawing attention from us with a rubbish talk.
They are quite intimidating. I don't care for those rubbish talks and rude words. But for physical attack is unacceptable.

This is my new home

Creating a blog, to me, is like building a house. This house I will dedicate to writing in English. I also have a blog in Thai, but I think, if you're not Thai, you would not be able to read it.
I love the seasons in Britain. They are such a change that reminds you of the coming events in each season. All seasons are colourful and different. I can't say which of them I like most. Even winter is fascinated to me. Spring time and summer seem best for holiday.
Autumn is fantastic with falling colourful leaves on the green grass.

I wonder which your favourite one is.